This is the first time I am attempting to blog... I used to write a diary in my school days, but have not attempted anything to express myself since a long time. I guess it is time to just let go and write, write, write...
When I was young, I used to visualize myself as a scientist with a microscope in the highest floor of a skyscraper, discovering the unknown- I dreamt of working day and night without food and water, in a quest for knowledge, always thirsty for more. When slightly older, there also grew a parallel dream, of a small child, learning her first alphabets, her first grammar, her first mathematics, at my knee- I would teach her to sing, to paint, to talk to the fairies in the clouds and to hear the whisper of the wind... Sometime, a desire grew of being loved and cherished by a soulmate whom I would admire and cherish equally...
I am a doctor, an anaesthetist- I presume I am good at my job. I cannot sing any more- vocal cord nodules have seen to that. Lack of practice has made me forget the fine skill of painting. An anaesthesia machine has replaced the microscope of my dreams, my dream of a child remains unchanged, and I dare to think that I have finally found my soulmate, in the real meaning of the word.
My question today is, how to cope with joblessness? I have yet to get a job in Australia- and it is 148 days since I last touched a patient. every day is an agony, and neither the beauty of the surroundings nor the love of a husband can erase it. I love my work, o God, I love it, more than anything else... Please grant me patience!
